The importance of gratitude

I believe that the key to happiness is gratitude. Gratitude comes in many forms, and not all are equal. Some people cannot find it in their hearts to be grateful, no matter what happens, but those people are for another post. Some people can find gratitude in good things that happen to them, and this is a good beginning. There is a Taoist principle that things happen, it is we that apply meaning to them, and thus label them "good" or "bad". I'll look that up when I'm home, so I don't mislead the good reader.

A better approach is to be grateful for everything that happens, because it is all part of the great, perfect mystery that we call life. If you consider life to be a beautiful, perfect screenplay, everything that has happened, everyone we've met, everything we have done, has all been part of the perfect plan that God has laid out for us. Instead of cursing at events we don't like, be grateful for what it teaches you. Study an athlete, or watch a child with a skateboard practicing. They learn from what isn't working, and correct it. A slow driver in front of you teaches patience, and the fact you were upset about it says you need to learn some! The person that left a dent on your car door was teaching you to release your attachment to material things. The spouse that left, the parent that abandoned you - they were teaching you self-reliance, and the degree to which it crushed you is the amount of self-reliance you needed to learn. Nothing is in greater quantities than you can handle; we may think it is, but we underestimate our own abilities. I remember in Karate class one day, our sensei asked us how many of us could do 200 push-ups. Not one of us answered yes, and Sensei told us gently "You all can do 200 push-ups; the difference is that you don't know it yet." For the next hour, we did sets of push-ups, punctuated by various running exercises, and at the end of the hour, all of us knew we could do it. I've never forgotten that lesson, although I may doubt myself sometimes.

While I use this blog as a personal soapbox, I never want the dear reader to assume I don't struggle with what I blog. I write to release what is pent-up inside me, to understand more completely what I am going through, to remind myself not to take myself too seriously. I write to create balance in my life, to express what I want to feel, and not necessarily what I am feeling at that moment. Teaching others, writing in a journal, or trying to explain our actions to the RCMP officer affords us a sense of self-awareness, to correct our thinking, and to proceed.

Right now I am sitting with a neck that is so stiff, it sounds like shattering pasta when I rotate my head. I have a stabbing pain when I look over my shoulder, and for that, I am grateful. The pain tells me that I need to ask "Why so serious?" to the mirror. To revisit where I am, what I have become and to decide if the stress I have created for myself is useful. Is this pain useful? We'll see. Is it a reminder that I have my eyes cast down, seeking problems, instead of lifting my head up to see the solutions? I think so.

Better to be grateful for what you have, for tomorrow you may grieve its loss.

The portrait above is Darren, thoroughly enjoying himself.

Living small

Most people would expect the title to be "Living Large", and indeed, that was what I was going to lead in with. In a quiet moment, however, I realized that honestly, I've been living small. Someone asked me the other day if I realized how talented I was (I believe the term she used was GENIUS) and I responded without thinking, "No, I don't." All our lives, we are taught to be modest about our accomplishments, as though being successful will offend someone like a fart in a crowded room. But really, who teaches that? What parent squashes their child with "That's a pretty bad painting, son... I think you should give up on that." No, my parents didn't say that. So where did we get this idea? Ego. It is ego, that quiet voice that whispers, "Not good enough" in the night, as we go to sleep. It is ego that shouts "You'll never make it!" just before we attempt cliff-diving for the first time. It is ego that convinces us not to be better than our friends, for the sake of fitting in.

Why would we attempt to fit in, when we've been given gifts to make us unique? Why look like one seagull amongst the flock, when we could fly solo, like an eagle, instead? When I asked myself that question, I realized that I've been laying low and being "modest" about my work, when I should be standing up and expressing myself instead. All around us are people whose own gifts have made them genius; I should be exercising my own gifts to capture that spirit, and in doing so, become the photographer I am meant to be, not the one that blends in. Do we admire William Shatner because he blends in? Tom Waits? How about Jeff Healey? Did Heath Ledger blend in? No, we admire these people because of their gifts, and their courage to exercise their talents, and in doing so, entertain us.

So that is the direction we must take. When given the choice between living small and blending in, we must stand up and say "No." When given the choice between good enough and great, we must make the effort to choose great. And as we do so, we elevate ourselves from Guy with Camera to Artist.

The above photo was taken after the rain, in Naramata BC.

Meet Abby.

It's been a few days since I posted here, and I wanted you to meet the reason why. Abby is a 4 year old Lhasa Apso that we've adopted. She's very relaxed, likes going for walks through orchards and neighborhoods, and has an aversion to cameras. (and so far, black dogs) We're hoping she gets over that. A dog this cute should be in pictures!

Adopting a dog has been an incredible experience. Like having a furry, snaggle-tooth child that eats dog food! Suddenly, responsibilities take on new meanings when you have someone worshipping your every move. Is that what having children is like?

Being Realistic

Being realistic. A wolf in sheep's clothing, if ever there was one. A sure-fire killer of dreams and aspirations, being realistic has sacrificed many dreams to "I have to earn a living", "I can't afford that" or the ever popular "You'll never earn enough doing that". Or how about "I couldn't do that... what would people think?"

I have a different approach to being realistic. I believe being realistic is to embrace what inner vision you have, and to pursue it with vigour. Many people suffer in careers they hate, not knowing anything else, until it ends and they find themselves doing something they enjoy much more. Often a mill closure, a factory pink slip, or an injury can lead to incredible gains for a person who decides to get real.

Being realistic is not necessarily turning away from what inspires us. Rather, it may be that by turning away from the job at the mill, or the factory, or the cubicle farm, we find ourselves in a position we never imagined. There is a story that one of Carl Jung's associates was fired, and when he told Jung his story, Jung replied "That is wonderful news indeed! We must find a bottle and celebrate!". The point I intend to illustrate is that we plod along, head down, earning a living, and we don't see the forest, or even the trees. We see the path by our feet. Look up! Look around you! BE REALISTIC! See the beauty surrounding you that you might have driven past a hundred times. See it for what it is, not what you thought it was.

Let me illustrate. I worked at a job last summer for three weeks, and hated every day there. I didn't get along with my foreman, I couldn't really relate to the guys I worked with, and subsequently felt more and more isolated every day, and destined for failure. The harder I tried, the faster I went, the more I had to fix afterward. I went to work one Friday morning, and was told that I was completely useless, that I should leave the trades, and that I was hereby fired. The foreman that said these things was so vitriolic and passionate about what he was saying, the reader could be forgiven for believing him. However, instead of arguing, I became realistic. Well, after a little arguing, I became realistic! I realized that I had just received a beautiful opportunity to leave a job I hated, and to find one I liked. In the end, I found myself at a company that supported its employees, encouraged people and celebrated their successes, and paid more, to boot!

I believe that we are here to fulfill a purpose, and that we alone really know what that is. Others may sense it, but their senses are clouded by their judgements, prejudice, and feelings. The way to know your purpose is to look within - there is no other way. What makes your heart sing? What catches your attention as you leaf through a magazine? What do you research online before anyone else gets up in the morning?

When we feel like we've discovered our purpose in life, most of us turn to our closest friends or family and tell them. The difficulty is that family or close friends may have their own views, opinions, or vested interests about you, and raising Llamas in the Himalayas might not be part of their plans. Try this sometime: at a party, turn to someone and tell them you've always had a dream to work on a crocodile farm in Australia, or race camels in Egypt, in the shadows of the pyramids. What you'll find may surprise you: instead of laughing or immediately telling you why it won't work, many people will encourage your venture, and even offer helpful or unhelpful advice on how to do it. Listen, filter, and decide, but realize that you already know the answer. It lies within, in the quiet places where our thoughts go to be at peace.

What happened when one of Carl Jung's associates was promoted? After excitedly telling him of his new position, Jung replied gravely, "This is very serious indeed; but if we stick together, we shall all pull through this". Look up! Look around you! Whether you think something is good or bad, chances are that later you will feel different about it. Being realistic means looking seriously at our heart's desires, and vowing to support them instead of letting them wither. Vowing to defend our beliefs and to follow them to see where they lead us. That silent knowing that we feel when we are on purpose - that is being realistic.

I am happiest when I am creating images; I am engergized, inspired, and alive. I spend my mornings reading about how to make my images better, or brainstorming new concepts to try in my photography. I can be lethargic and bored one minute, ready to leave a party early, but with a camera in my hand, I become alive and invigorated almost instantly. That is being realistic.

The image above is Jordan, being realistic in a peach orchard.

Like A Rock

Why is it that a piece of music, a poem, a scene from a movie has the power to grab us the viewer and wring emotion from us? Is there a common theme? Indeed, there are many, but one common thread never fails to affect me. Someone who stands by his principles and doesn't let them die. Legions of Louis L'amour fans kept buying his books long after he died (myself included). Throughout his stories, the hero, though human, refused to stand by and watch evil reign and conquer. Facing insurmountable odds, he charged in and faced his fears, and his foes, with a cool glare and a hot six shooter.


Why then do we finish reading an adventure like that, our hearts soaring, brimming with principles, and return to our soul sucking jobs the next day? What has happened to us, to our principles, to our ambitions? I was talking to a retired welder the other day who criticized my decision to forsake the trades. He berated me, speaking with a heavy accent, how he went to work every day hating his job, hating the places he worked, constantly being burnt by the slag, burnt on his hands, his eyes, his face, but he went there for what? And he patted his wallet, like a favorite pet. I think that man has wasted his entire life, becoming the bitter, used-up carcass I saw before me that day. But I wondered how he got there - surely nobody sets out to slay his enthusiasm and ambitions?

Donald Trump, speaking with Larry King, said that to be successful, it is critical to love what you are doing. Otherwise, you will not put in the effort necessary to achieve greatness. That is true - study some of the great people of history, and see if this holds up. Mother Teresa; Fred Astaire; Youssef Karsh; Arnold Newman; Picasso; all examples of people who have followed their dreams; stayed true to their principles; have been written down in history for doing so.

And what about music? In 1986, Bob Seger sang "Like A Rock" to chart-topping success because of the powerful message behind the lyrics. Chevrolet used it to demonstrate the strength behind their trucks. People relate to the music because of the theme of standing behind principles, even though it may not be popular at the time. It is the kind of song that makes people dream about what they would do, if only they could stand by their principles instead of feeding them to their wallets. I can't listen to that song without my mind drifting off to distant planes, where I am strong, proud, and standing by my principles.

How does that translate to real life? I believe that we can live that way, if we choose. We can choose to pursue what we love to do, be it photography, painting, carpentry or concrete. I meet people every day who love what they do, in all walks of life. There is a light in their eyes that shines, even when exhaustion threatens to close their eyes. There is a passion in what they do, what they speak about, how they act. Not all passions lead us to the poorhouse; that is the lie that uninspired people tell us to keep us doing what is "reasonable." Every step spent in pursuit of our passions seems like a leap compared to a step spent pursuing that which we don't want. And that is the truth we must embrace, to live a life worth living.

The wakeboarder is Justin Milsted, enjoying life on Mara Lake, BC.