Saturday, October 10, 2009

You can't go back.


So, I was thinking about progress today. As much as I would like the world to stay as it is, to pause while I live my life in a nice, comfortable pocket, life isn't like that. It never has been. Like an ebbing tide, the world changes in infinitesimal ways, some cataclysmic, and some not, but it is swirls and swishes and flows. And those that choose to ignore it are doomed, because they go against nature. When I reflect back upon the irresistable forces moving forward, I stand in the way of a tsunami. And as Tom Cochrane said, in between ten glorious minutes of guitar solos, "You can't turn back".

Ever try to go back to an ex-girlfriend, or an old job? Ever try to move back to an old town where you had grown up? How did that feel? I'll bet it felt like climbing up a sewer pipe that was emptying into a treatment plant. You're fighting against the flow, instead of moving with it.

So what does that mean? The road to failure leads back the way you came, but where does the road to success lead? For millenia, mankind has looked to mythology for answers, and more importantly, for inspiration. Study the myth of the hero, and you find someone moving forth, encountering adversity, but always advancing. The hero never goes back to his old life as a shepherd or farm hand; he has outgrown that life. And by the same token, someone who stays in one place, doing the same thing they've always done, eventually becomes an object of ridicule because the world understands that people have to advance, to grow, to fulfill their destiny. A twenty-something looks different sitting in a club than a thirty-something does, in a sinister sort of way.

I see this in my art; when I choose to photograph someone in a safe way, in a way I've always done, I move backwards, not forward. It is only when I can face my fears, to advance in the face of critisism or scorn, that I become greater. It is then that I dip deep into the well that is my soul and bring forth what I could be. The critic lives in situations like those, but so does progress. Honestly, I can say that I am mired in the mundane now; it has been months since I felt the thrill of doing something new, or of giving myself permission to fail, in pursuit of success. I feel myself slipping downhill, in my courage and my skills, which are slowly rusting from disuse. It is safer not to try than to muddle around, looking for creativity.

Move forward, always. And if not forward, move laterally; it will feel better than standing still. And if God has led you to the mountain to teach you, don't insult Him by walking down to the valley. Instead, look around, and be open.